


Poison Oak

by Bellakitse



Series: 30 days of Sterek [17]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Poor Derek, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-07 12:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/748744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellakitse/pseuds/Bellakitse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I was in full wolf form and I came in contact with something,” Derek finally gets out, looking down. “It itches really badly.”</p><p>Stiles gapes not believing what he’s seeing, Derek Hale is blushing.“Where?” </p><p>Derek’s blush gets deeper much to Stiles’ amazement before point at his crotch. Stiles looks down and yes, that’s Derek pointing at his jean-covered dick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poison Oak

**Author's Note:**

> Day 17: prompt: ‘That is a very painful-looking rash’

“I need your help.”

Stiles jumps in his seat, hitting his knee on his computer desk, wincing as he turns his head towards his bedroom window. “Derek, dude, we’ve talked about this, I’d like to live to see 18 and you trying to give me a heart attack isn’t helping, plus I have a door, a very nice door downstairs, made of some fancy wood, you like wood.”

“Stiles,” Derek growls with not heat, hopping over the window ledge. “I just said I need your help.”

“And I just said use the door,” Stiles answers back. “It’s not nice to be ignored is it?”

“Stiles!”

“Okay, okay, keep your fangs in, jeez,” Stiles rolls his eyes as he turns to his computer, opening his password protected bestiary file. “But really, my dad, who isn’t here right now knows about your furry problems now, it’s not like you need to sneak in…okay what impending disaster are we preventing?”

Silence meets his question and he frowns turning back to the Alpha, his frown deepening when he takes a good look at him. Dressed in his usual ‘I’m not trying to be a walking hard-on I was just born with this bad boy vibe’, Derek doesn’t look different; expect the scowl on his face isn’t his usual scowl. And Stiles knows, he’s spend more hours, days, weeks than necessary studying and cataloging Derek’s facial expressions. What could he say; he was the king of pointless crushes.  “You okay? You look…like you’re in pain,” Stiles realizes, his eyes widening as he stands quickly, his hands moving faster than his brain and he reaches out, patting Derek down. “Are you hurt? The full moon was last night, did something happen? Hunters?”

“Stiles,” Derek says tiredly, grimacing as he shifts on his feet. “If you’d stop talking for one second.”

“Excuse me for caring,” Stiles makes a face, pulling his hands back. “Not that I care-care, I just care in the human being way, the way one human being cares about other human beings, in the general sense of caring.”

Derek raises an eyebrow at him and it says ‘lie’, because Derek’s eyebrows communicate, it’s a thing.

“Whatever,” Stiles scoffs at the eyebrow, he will not be judged by _hair_.

“Your brain,” Derek shakes his head, moving on. “I was out last night, full moon.”

“Getting your wolf on, yeah,” Stiles continues, when Derek pauses. “And?”

“Something happened.”

Stiles waits as Derek pauses once more. “And?! _Jesus_ , see this is why I talk, because you just stop and stop giving me opportunity. What happened? What do you need help with?”

“I was in full wolf form.”

Stiles groans sensing this was about to become a pattern. “It’s like pulling teeth with you, you know you aren’t Eddie Murphy in ‘A thousand words’ right? If you use them you aren’t going to run out.”

“I’m embarrassed okay!” Derek snaps, shifting again and if Stiles’ eyes weren’t deceiving him he quickly readjusted himself in his jeans.

“Oh, well, now I really want to know,” Stiles teases softly, earning him an eye roll, a year ago it would have been followed with a promise of violence.

“I was in full wolf form and I came in contact with something,” Derek finally gets out, looking down. “It itches really badly.”

Stiles gapes not believing what he’s seeing, Derek Hale is blushing, the tips of his ears pink and as he looks back up at Stiles, he’s biting his bottom lip uncertainly, his ridiculously cute bunny teeth marking the pouty lip. It’s so adorable Stiles has to curl his hand to keep from petting Derek’s hair. “Okay,” Stiles clears his throat, trying to control his impulses. “Where?”

Derek’s blush gets deeper much to Stiles’ amazement before point at his crotch. Stiles looks down and yes, that’s Derek pointing at his jean-covered dick.

“Um? Shouldn’t you go to a doctor then?” Stiles stammers out, lifting his hands in a peaceful gesture at the glare he gets. “I’m just saying, that’s seems like a doctor area if something itches.”

“It’s a magical itch Stiles,” Derek all but growls. “Not an STD, you are the magical one in the group, so help me!”

“Okay, okay,” Stiles rushes, taking a deep breath hoping it will calm his erratic heart. “Drop your pants, let me see, and boy did I never think I would say that to you.”

“Your heart just bleeped, so _lie_ ,” Derek answers smugly as he goes for his belt, Stiles doesn’t answer he just scowls, hating his fair complexion, he can just feel how hot his cheeks are.

Pulling his desk chair over, he sits to put him at eye level with Derek’s dick. Fucking hell, he’s about to see Derek’s dick.

Derek coughs in a pointed way as he pulls his pants down and Stiles wonders what kind of smells he’s letting out. The first thing Stiles notices is that Derek doesn’t bother with underwear, something he files away for ‘Stiles’ alone time’. The second is that Derek has come in contact with poison oak, the skin around but luckily not on his dick is red and blistered. Stiles wincing in sympathy, it could be worse like on his actual junk but still it can’t be fun. “Why haven’t you healed?”

“Because it’s magic,” Derek answers annoyed.

Stiles stares incredulously at him.

“So what do you think? Special wolfbane, witches threatening me and the pack, it was in my territory, fairies?” Derek questions his eyes widening with every possibility. “What if it’s fairies again? It was horrible last time we dealt with them.”

“First, don’t even mention those little bitches to me, we made a deal they don’t come back and I don’t go all Merlin on their Tinkerbell asses, they ruined Peter Pan for me,” Stiles whines, all the supernatural shit that happens to him and his friends has ruined Disney for him, he can’t even watch the Little Mermaid without suffering PTSD. “And second, it’s poison oak.”

Derek looks down at his crotch with a look of confusion. “No, it’s got to be magic.”

“Your dick?” Stiles jokes trying hide his rapid heartbeat as he sneaks around peek. “I’m sure it is, but while that is a very painful-looking rash, its poison oak rash. Wait here.”

“I still think it’s magic, it hurts too much to be normal,” Stiles hears Derek mumble as he heads into the bathroom.

“You probably rolled around in it a lot,” Stiles calls out as he opens the medicine cabinet. “What I’d love to know is how you only managed to get the rash there, but I guess you’re just special like that, this will help.”

“What’s that, some kind of special salve?” Derek ask curiously looking at the pink bottle in Stiles’ hand and Stiles takes a moment to take everything in, Derek in the middle of his room, pants hanging by his knees, dick in the wind and of course Derek isn’t the least bit shy, why should he be. How is this Stiles’ life?

“Yeah, sure, special salve known commonly as calamine lotion, put in on the affected area,” Stiles answers throwing the bottle at Derek who catches it easily.

Opening it, Derek frowns. “It’s pink.”

“So is your crotch,” Stiles points out. “It will match.”

Derek starts to rub the lotion into his skin letting out a sigh and Stiles violently turns away, thinking of dead kittens, anything to keep from popping a boner.

“ _How_ is this my life?” Stiles murmurs.

“Thanks,” Derek says behind him hesitantly. “And sorry, I didn’t know who else to go to.”

“No big,” Stiles answers turning back around relieved that Derek has pulled his pants back on.

“I should go,” Derek says heading for the window and Stiles doesn’t bother with complaining about using the door.

“Okay, just keep using the lotion, it will go away,” Stiles going back to his desk. “Feel better.”

Derek pauses. “Thanks Stiles.”

Stiles nods giving the alpha a smile as he drops from sight. Stiles waits a moment before dropping his head on his desk banging against it. “So not how I pictured getting Derek out of his jeans,” Stiles groans.

He’s still banging his head away five minutes later when his phone beeps.

Opening his texts he lets out a laugh, his face once again red with both embarrassment and excitement.

It reads.

_‘Next time you get me out of my pants it will be for a fun reason.’_

“Next time,” Stiles grins.

**Author's Note:**

> LET'S GET READY TO [TUMBLRRRR](http://bellakitse.tumblr.com/)


End file.
